You're Welcome - No Problem

I’ve noticed an interesting cultural shift in America that has taken place in just the last decade or so.  It’s a simple thing, really.  It involves what has always been a very natural exchange that two people have when one thanks the other.  In fact, most parents consider this a key area of training when it comes to teaching their little ones how to respond to kindness.  Soon after teaching them the P-word, some would even call it the magic word…“please”, we teach them to say thank-you and you’re welcome.  But it is this last phrase, you’re welcome, that has increasingly fallen on hard times, if not completely been kicked to the curb for its more modern counterpart.  And what’s that, you say?  No problem.

Whether it’s at the drive-through window or a five star restaurant, dropping off your clothes at the cleaners or picking up your brand new Lexus, the simple phrase thank you is, more and more, being acknowledged by No problem!  At first, I didn’t even notice it, but the more its usage increased, the more I began to wonder how it came to replace you’re welcome.

The welcome in you're welcome is a statement saying: “I would do this for you again, if asked." (as in,  “You're welcome to ask me again.”) Now, this may or not be a true statement. If someone thanks you for donating a kidney, for instance, and you casually say you’re welcome, I do not believe that anyone would think you would happily donate the other kidney.  But the response you’re welcome is much more akin to its usual substitute “it’s my pleasure” than the currently popular “no problem.”  My initial response to someone saying no problem (admittedly under the breath) was “Really? I didn’t think it was a problem…you getting me my cheeseburger or fetching my suit which I paid you to dry clean.  Are you suggesting that under normal conditions that would be a problem?”

You might be thinking, seriously, what’s the big deal? At least the person is trying to be polite and responding to you in a positive manner.   That is true, but that is not my point.  Think about it this way.  When someone greets you for the first time, or for the 100th time, really, would you rather hear them say, “You are welcome here” or “Your being here is no problem.”  We even sang it in a worship song last week, addressing the living God, no less.  The song was entitled (note this) Here for You and included the lines “We welcome You with praise”, and “be welcomed in this place.” I doubt a song with the lyrics “You’re no problem, God” would have gained as much traction in the contemporary Christian music industry.

What may be at the heart of this is an increasing focus on self in our culture, a society of me-ism (sometimes to the point of narcissism) which has, as its starting point, what’s in it for me.  If it’s all about me, then the way I show you I am doing you a favor is to say no problem.  But if you (the other person) are the focus, than saying you’re welcome can affirm your willingness, even eagerness, to serve that person. 

As the musicians at our church begin our preparations for a Christmas event, our thoughts often turn to outsiders…those outside our ministry, our church, perhaps even outside the faith.  It is at these very times when I try to challenge those inside the circle to be welcoming of those outside the circle.  I don’t think a no problem attitude will quite cut it.  For openers, it states a positive with a negative.

I try to remind my veterans to think back for a moment to the last time they joined a group for the first time:  What were their hopes at that first meeting? Any fears? What made that experience such that they wanted to return? Or what, perhaps, happened that kept them from going back?  Recently, some of our newer members voiced apprehension at first, wondering “am I in someone else’s seat” (officially or unofficially), “do I bring my music home?”, “what line should I be reading in the music?”, “where are the bathrooms?” (OK, I made that one up.)  More than anything, they want to know that they are OK…and that we’re glad they’re here…not just that they’re not a problem.

As worship leaders, let me encourage you.  Opening our doors to new folks is, indeed, part of our mission!  This is also part of our worship!  As we welcome them, we welcome Jesus into our midst!  (Whatsoever you have done to the least of these brothers and sisters, You have done to Me, Jesus says). 

So treasure your choir buddies, but don’t forget to make new ones.  Community is in; cliques are out.  I appeal to you!  Be on the lookout for unfamiliar faces, and take a risk by initiating a conversation.   Try talking to some folks you are not that familiar with, perhaps whose name you might not even know.  Don’t forget what it took for you to brave joining a new group for the very first time. I believe how we handle the little things of creating a safe and welcoming place qualifies us to be entrusted with the much larger task of leading Christ’s body in worship.  If I witness that over the next several months, I will be the first to say thank you.  And I better not hear…no problem!

tad

Under Construction

Here’s a challenge for all you married couples out there—especially those of you who have endured some bumps and bruises along the way in your relationship.  On your next date night (and I pray for your sake that they are regular and frequent) have the lyrics to this song in front of you and listen to We Build by Nicole Nordeman (http://www.youtube.com/watchv=uMb1Lu1mJ4o&list=RDuMb1Lu1mJ4o).

It's bigger than we thought; it's taller than it ought to be— 

this pile of rubble and ruins.

 The neighbors must talk--it's the worst yard on the block;

Just branches and boards where walls stood.

Did it seem to you like the storm just knew

we weren't quite finished with the roof when it started?

So we build, we build;

we clear away what was and make room for what will be.

If you hold the nails, I'll take the hammer.

I'll hold it still if you'll climb the ladder. 

 If you will, then I will…build.

On any given day we could simply walk away

 and let someone else hold the pieces. 

The lie that we tell says it's better somewhere else,

as if love flies south when it freezes.

What I'm trying to say in some clumsy way 

 is that it's you and only you for always.

Every year that goes by brings a deeper appreciation for this song’s honesty and this songwriter’s insights.  Nothing is more difficult, perhaps, than achieving the goal of a happy and healthy marital relationship, able to endure all the pitfalls that await it.  After all, the “two becoming one” are always two sinners, fallen and fractured, if not broken, human beings who, on their best days, are still capable of hiding and hurting, disappointing and dashing the hopes and dreams of another.  And as Christian couples, we discover all too soon that relational discord between a husband and wife becomes pretty obvious over time.  The use of the metaphor of a house that has grown increasingly dilapidated in full view is particularly poignant.  It only adds to our shame when we fear our failure is on display for all to see, and we often incorrectly conclude that our conflicts are unique to us.  We might even think that if we were “truly Christians” we wouldn’t be having these problems.

The chorus to this song provides, I believe, the key to moving through the pain and problems to better days and an even deeper relationship.  It suggests that we must repeatedly look each other in the eyes and “re-up.” 

What I'm trying to say in some clumsy way is that it's you and only you;

 Not just for now, not just today, but it's you and only you…for always.

We must go back to our original vows and recommit to staying, to listening, and to working through or overcoming whatever chasms we believe have begun to separate us.  And, like any builder knows, we must start with a firm foundation.  There is limitless help—God with us—for those days we are tempted to “simply walk away and let someone else hold the pieces.”

Don’t wait for the next “storm” to appear to begin preparing for it. Trials and setbacks are part of being human. Resolve together right now to attend to the details, the issues which make you most vulnerable to the attacks of the evil one. Resist the natural tendency to let your love grow cold through neglect or taking one another for granted.  Find other couples to be totally honest with about your struggles.  Talk to a counselor, a pastor, or a trusted, but also grounded, friend. Whatever you do, recognize the signs when outside help is needed. And never be too proud to admit that yours is a marriage still under construction.

tad

Statues or Support Beams?

As a leader in the worship arts ministry of our church, I often find myself revisiting a fundamental question—why do I do what I do?  In fact, why do any of us so-called upfronters do what we do?  I like to think of our role as primarily prophetic, not aesthetic.  We are called to prophesy, not merely beautify.  The use of arts in public worship should go well beyond merely helping to provide window dressing, so to speak.  Nor is it our role to merely “set up” the pastoral message for the day—the sermon. 

This is not a universally held value, however.  Many churches, traditional and contemporary alike, continue to see the role of the arts as an end in themselves, rather than just a means to a greater end.  I tell my musicians that we are the frame of the picture, never to be confused with the true work of art—our glorious Christ, whom we worship.

King David spoke of participating in public worship as going to “the house of the Lord,” a prospect which made him glad (Psalm 122:1). Metaphorically speaking, if we can imagine corporate worship as entering the temple (or presence) of God, then those who lead others in worship are actually more like the pillars or columns supporting the structure than the artifacts which merely provide artistic beauty.  Personally, I’d rather be a support beam than a statue or a stained glass window any day.

 

While not specifically addressing worship leaders, the Old Testament prophet Isaiah established one of the foundational roles they can have in our corporate life together. In the 35^th chapter he reminds us that one primary function we have in whatever we do is to build up or support one another. Imagine this as your weekly, if not daily, job description:

Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way;

say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come,

 he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.”

Then will the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the deaf unstopped.

Then will the lame leap like a deer, and the mute tongue shout for joy.

In the New Testament, the writer to the Hebrews gives instruction specifically for public gatherings with these words from chapter 10: 

“Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith,

having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience

 and having our bodies washed with pure water. 

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

 Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing,

but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

I believe one reason God originally established the rhythm of a seven day week with a Sabbath rest was because we need regular, systematic refueling. Our spiritual computers need a reboot routinely to clear out all the junk that makes its way into our minds and hearts. 

God understands this human dilemma.  He also knows that left alone, we will lose this battle every time. The idea of meeting together with others of like mind has been around since the beginning of time.  It suggests our need for accountability, mutual encouragement and to experience certain aspects of God’s goodness en masse.  Sure, I can enjoy listening to a symphony on my iPod or CD player all by myself.  But how much richer is the experience when I sit in a larger auditorium listening to live players surrounded by other symphony lovers who can join me in the experience.

Enter the need for leadership in this experience we call corporate worship.  Traditionally, this team of gifted artists was required to be prepared, honed in their skills, strong of faith, and outwardly focused. In other words, they understood worship was not about them.  It is exactly these traits which the contemporary church still needs today from its upfront leaders.  Not just excellent musicians.  Not just trendy dressers or hip talkers.  In following in the footsteps of those who went before them, worship leaders need to be willing to lead the people into battle against seen or unseen enemies (2 Chronicles 20), to speak and sing faith into the lives of those assembled, and to be concerned about supporting other upfronters, such as pastors, teachers, etc., as well as the people in front of them, all needing a touch from God.

One of the most powerful images I ever heard used to describe the role of the worship leader was…a donkey.  More specifically, the donkey used by Jesus on Palm Sunday, when he rode through the streets of Jerusalem to the accompanying cries of Hosanna—Lord, save us!  How are we to be like a donkey? We’re not the big deal.  But we do have a big role.  As we lift Jesus up (perhaps not all that high atop a donkey, but the image is still there), others can see and focus on him, not his mode of transportation. As artists, this is so counterintuitive to the way many of us were raised—to see our “talent” as a means of gaining attention, if not our own self-worth.  But when we begin to accept this function as a high calling, indeed, a privilege, then Jesus is glorified and His people can be edified.

As a worship leader, do you know your job description?  Do you comprehend the high calling to which you have been called?  I, for one, can’t wait to join you and others around the globe in fulfilling our role the next time God’s people gather. So what’ll it be? A work of art or a source of support?  

                                                                                                                     tad