Pastor's Point: A failure to communicate...

It was one of the most memorable lines from a classic Hollywood movie called, Cool Hand Luke, starring the legendary Paul Newman.  “What we have here, gentlemen, is a failure to communicate.”  The irony is that the line was delivered by a cruel, stubborn prison guard who didn’t lack for communication at all, but for basic human empathy and compassion. 

Sometimes our inability to communicate can take on almost comic overtones.  Consider these poorly worded signs in various locations, attempting to be helpful:

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.  WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.  (a little punctuation wouldn’t have hurt)

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

These actual miscommunications remind me of the time I was serving a church in Dallas which posted a large (huge, really) banner outside on a busy highway announcing our upcoming Christmas Eve services.  Included on the advertisement was the enticing but unfortunately misspelled byline: Special Children’s Massage.  Imagine my horror when I drove past the church shortly after it was posted and realized our mistake.  That can happen in one-way communication, especially when one fails to proofread!

Unlike one-way communication (a posted announcement, an email blast, a zealous “prophet” booming "TURN OR BURN” into his bullhorn on a crowded street), two way communication actually involves listening as well as voicing our ideas and values.  Hope Church is offering each of us a simple but radical tool to improve our ability to communicate, listen, empathize and thereby minister more effectively to each other.  On March 14 & 15, you can learn some very practical ways to become a better listener and, hopefully, a more effective communicator.  Pastor Steve Griebling and his team have been working diligently to facilitate the growth of our Body in this area.  This two day workshop, Listening for Heaven’s Sake, is available to anyone—details on our church website, or you can call the church and speak to Diane (x310) for more details.  Please consider taking advantage of this opportunity to become a better equipped communicator of the love of Christ.                                                                                                                                                                                                  tad

Pastor’s Point: Valentines for God

One childhood tradition which always seemed to bring equal doses of anticipation and disappointment was the classroom ritual of exchanging Valentines with (usually) everyone in the room.  You remember the routine.  On the night before your class Valentines party, you convinced one of your parents to buy one of those bags of 30+ valentine greetings with clever come-ons like “Bee mine,” “You’re Purrrrrrrfect,” and “You mermaid for me.” Then you stayed up late addressing all the envelopes and signing your name to each card.  The real clincher, though, happened on the day of the party…waiting to see the reaction from the one particular girl (guy) you fancied as they read your card. 

Most of us knew, even then, that this activity was not all that consequential in matters of love and the opposite sex.  Still, the ritual continues to this day, and hearts, at least for the very young, are a-flutter or a-broken as this simple exercise plays out.  I did, in fact, come across some interesting observations kids had on the subject of love, as seen through their innocent eyes. Here’s a sampling:  

1. When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.
2. Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.
3. Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.
4. If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you don't like to play with.
5. Love is hugging. Love is kissing. Love is saying no sometimes.
6. When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared they won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more.
7. My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.
8. Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.
9. You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget, and it's good for them to get reminded.
10. There are two kinds of love- Our love & God's love. But God makes both kinds of them. Love is important to God.

As adults, we know love is a pretty big deal to God. John, who described himself as “the disciple whom Jesus loved,” wrote this about God’s definition:   “God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him.  This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. (1 John 4: 9, 10)

These two verses show us the origin of true love, but they are not meant to imply that only God can love. When Jesus was asked, “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?,” He replied, ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”  Jesus later told his followers, “If you love me, keep my commandments.”  In other words, there can be no separating of these two relationships.  If we love God, we will love each other.

Practically, what does that look like in a church community? To use musical terminology, I believe the world is looking for unity and harmony in our life together, not unison and conformity.  Church cultures which stress the latter don’t require a lot of love.  In fact, in those kinds of environments, when someone starts “singing” slightly out of tune, or even a different tune, members often withdraw or, worse, begin the dismantling process of the fellowship.  The agape (unconditional, godly) love of the first church was tested early on.  It had to intentionally set aside the need for ethnic (cultural) “purity.” They did, after all, start out “all Jewish—all the time,” remember? (Acts 10).  Agape love also meant stepping out in faith, being willing to be lovingly corrected by their spiritual leaders, and, at times, even risking death.  But the early Church’s true mark on the world, the distinctive which ultimately turned that world upside down, was not their great faith, not their gifts, or creativity, not even their open-mindedness. Rather, it was how they loved each other.

Imagine, if you will, two piles of bricks standing side by side, one with mortar and the other without. Now think of the love of God as the mortar connecting the one stack of stones which He is using to build a beautiful temple of worship.  When viewed side by side, the two stacks neatly piled on top of each other really don’t look all that different.  But let the first quake of adversity or division hit, and one thing becomes clear.  Without that love, without the connective adhesive of the Holy Spirit in our lives, we will not stand.  Our mission is lost.  And God moves on.

As our American culture pauses to recognize and even celebrate human love this Valentine’s Day, let’s recommit ourselves to demonstrating to the world a far deeper, more lasting gift that goes beyond our fleeting feelings.  Let our valentine to God and the world be the living out of what the contemporary song writer John Mark McMillan describes as God’s “sloppy wet kiss.” (How He Loves http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCe4A7OA_Qw; recorded by Eddie Kirkland).  Like any good valentine, the clearer we make our message, the harder it will be to resist.

tad