Pastor's Point: Love Will Find You

I went to a luncheon today which raised awareness about the increase in suicide rates in our country. It got me thinking that this is a subject we should more openly discuss in the body of Christ.  For many, it is the great topical taboo, the struggle that only affects the weak, the unbalanced, or worse, the unspiritual.  But who among us has not been touched by this saddest of departures from a loved one, a friend, or a co-worker?  Or perhaps, some, if not many of us, have even flirted with the notion, if for a fleeting moment, that the world would be better off if “I just went away”. 

What often remains for the survivors of those who end their own life is mere speculation.  We are left with questions like “why” or “how could I have missed this?” Often we’re left to imagine perhaps playing a role in suicide prevention: “If only I had known of his/her pain, I might have...”  

The popular contemporary singer-songwriter Nicole Nordeman drew inspiration for her song Hold On from just such an experience in her own life.  She writes:

“We spend so much time talking about our search for God, our journey, what we’re looking for, what we hope to find–and we give very little thought to the notion that God is searching for us. He is in fierce pursuit. And He’ll stop at nothing to find us.

I met a girl a couple of years ago. She drove me crazy. She was intensely needy and did a really bad job at hiding her desperation. It wasn’t attractive–it made me want to run and hide whenever she was around, which is exactly what I did. She was hyper. She overcompensated socially. She was exhausting. She was trying to reach out, and so I pulled back. Everyone around her pulled back, because to give her an ounce of your attention was to be swallowed whole. I normally consider myself to be a compassionate person, but I was blinded by self-protection and self-love. We were on a tour together, so our interaction was for a season. And when it ended, I breathed repeated sighs of relief.

Not too long ago, I learned from another friend on that same tour that she had taken her life.

Even now, it is very hard to keep typing because the guilt and shame weigh down on me so heavily. She was reaching, reaching, reaching for anything–anyone who might throw her a line. I never did. When I get to heaven, the first thing I will do is ask God for directions to her house. I need her forgiveness. I need to tell her how ugly my heart was.

Until then, this song will have to do. It is a love song for anyone who feels like they can’t hang on. It is a last ditch plea for anyone who is certain they’ve exhausted every option, and every avenue for happiness and love.

It’s everything I wished I’d said and so I am saying now. God is bigger. The voice that tells you that life is pointless and empty and that everything good and beautiful will always stay just beyond your reach, is the voice of the greatest liar that ever was. And he will keep on lying. And Jesus will keep on loving you and reminding you that the only reason he ever suffered and died and walked out of that tomb to offer you life, was because you are worth it. You really are. We all are.”

Here are the lyrics to her song.  Hope it blesses someone today.  It has been life-giving to this writer.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      tad

Hold On

Words and Music by Nicole Nordeman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1HkUf0tXLU

It will find you at the bottom of a bottle; it will find you at the needle’s end.

It will find you when you beg and steal and borrow; it will follow you into a stranger’s bed.

It will find you when they serve you with the papers; 

it will find you when the locks have changed again.

It will find you when you’ve called in all your favors; 

it will meet you at the bridge’s highest ledge.

So baby, don’t look down; it’s a long way. The sun will come around to a new day.

So hold on, love will find you. Hold on, He’s right behind you now.

Just turn around and love will find you.

It will find you when the doctor’s head is shaking; it will find you in a boardroom, mostly dead.

It will crawl into the foxhole where you’re praying; it will curl up in your halfway empty bed.

So baby, don’t believe that it’s over. Maybe you can’t see ‘round the corner.

So hold on, love will find you. Hold on, He’s right behind you now.

Just turn around and love will find you.

To hang between two thieves in the darkness,

Love must believe you are worth it.

You’re worth it.

So hold on, love will find you. Hold on, He’s right behind you now.

Just turn around He’s right behind you now.

Just turn around, love will find you.

“Hold On” © 2005 BIRDWING MUSIC (ASCAP) and BIRDGOY MUSIC (ASCAP),

Admin. by EMI CMG PUBLISHING, CCLI#128008

Pastor's Point: Sandbags

Whenever there is a forecast for heavy rains which might result in flash flooding, a dam breaks, or we are warned of the prospect of devastating coastal storms, these little lumpy critters make their presence known as the greatest thing since sliced bread.  Sandbags.  Who’d a thunk it?  Something so simple, yet strategically placed and in enough quantity, they are not only effective but often our last resort for preventing disasters.

Once again this week the world watched helplessly as a monster typhoon ravaged the coast of the Philippines.   As estimated 20 foot waves assaulted the coastline, laying bare everything in their path, I couldn’t help but reflect on how seemingly impotent such weaponry as sandbags are when trying to protect ourselves from the power of the natural world around us.

And yet, all around us there hides a more deadly enemy which purposes to do even greater damage to our spirits and very souls.  It is an unseen but very potent force, described by the Apostle Paul this way:

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, 

against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil 

in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12  ESV

And oddly enough, this enemy actually loves the sandbag; no, not the kind for preventing disasters but a much more subtle one which actually helps create them.  I’m not talking about literal sandbags, but rather emotional collections of things humans do to one another to wound, diminish and even kill.  And like a real sandbag, they are put together one grain, one deed or neglected deed at a time.

In all healthy organizations and communities, relationships depend on honesty, openness, and remaining current in expressing our feelings toward one another.  The familiar passage in Matthew 18:15 and following reminds us what to do when things do break down and we begin feeling at odds with each other: “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense.  If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.  But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses.”

The issue is not getting even or even getting something off our chest—the goal is restoration of the relationship.  And in cases of the heart, timing is everything.  To delay the direct approach often leads to suppression of feelings which give way to anger and resentment.  Worse, we begin to “triangle” the relationship by sharing with a third party how we are feeling about the second party.  This is usually less threatening to us personally, but also almost always more destructive.

(By the way, if you are ever tempted to enter into one of those tri-angled conversations, remember a good question to ask is, “Is what you are about to share with me—about ‘so and so’—going to make me think less or more of that person?  In other words, praise anyone to the hilt with others, but if you have a beef with someone, start with them!)

This concept particularly rings true for those involved in leadership.  Many passages remind us that we can’t love God and hate our brother, what we do to the least of our brothers we do to HIM, and (my favorite) “if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar…and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar.  Go and be reconciled to that person.  Then come and [worship] God.” (Matt. 5:23) If we are to have credibility as lovers of God, we must also do all in our power to remain connected and “clean” with each other.

To maintain healthy relationships with others, to keep ‘short accounts’, so to speak, means no sandbagging.  Rather than collecting dirt (or hurt) on someone over a long period of time, only to erupt when the bag is full or bursting with a laundry list of wounds and offenses, try staying current.  When someone says or does something to hurt or offend you, gently approach them right away.  Use “I feel” statements rather than “you did…” or “you always…” 

Another way to approach a hurtful incident is to ask the (offending) person to “help you understand why he(she) did such and such.”  The key is to live in a posture of humility and forgiveness, realizing how much God through Christ has forgiven you.  To ignore these principles may make you feel more comfortable momentarily, but you will end up breaking the heart of God and losing a brother in the process.  If the same God who is holy and perfectly righteous is able to remove my sins as far as the east is from the west and to toss them into the sea of forgetfulness, who am I to keep score?  Who am I to keep a collection of past offenses…a sandbag?  Those lumpy little critters were created to help prevent disasters, not cause them.  

tad 

Pastor's Point: Nothing Less than Our Very Best

In our sermon series on the subject of Work, I am challenged by the notion that what I do (my work) is a direct reflection of who I do it for.  This is particularly true when viewed from the perspective Paul speaks of in Colossians 3, when he reminds us:

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart…as working for the Lord.

It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Since God is not a God of mediocrity (having declared good and very good all He had created - Genesis 1), I need to pursue excellence in anything to which I put my effort.  Unlike God, however, the pursuit of perfection for us as fallen creatures is a fool’s errand. Webster defines excellence as “the quality or state of being outstanding or superior,” whereas the term perfection implies “the quality or state of something that is as good or suitable as it can possibly be.”

I have worked with many an artist whose primary preoccupation was with “getting it right,” never making mistakes, chasing the elusive, “flawless” performance.  I can identify.  As a young organist in my dad’s church growing up in Dallas, I was routinely evaluated by my mom at lunch each Sunday, which included her estimate of how many mistakes I had made that morning. (Bad Mommy!  Thankfully, she had many other fine qualities!) Thank God for therapists!

But the pursuit of excellence in our ministry is not the same as seeking perfection. I remember years ago reading the motto of a music ministry at a very large, nationally known church in south Florida.  It was simple but memorable: Excellence in all things and all things to God’s glory.  Be excellent.  Glorify God.  On the surface, it seems fairly non-controversial.  But in my experience with numerous worship ministries throughout the country, I believe that some “church musicians” seem to believe these two concepts are mutually exclusive. 

Some would argue that the moment you begin to pursue excellence in your art, you quickly move to self-gratification or glorification.  After all, the proponents of this viewpoint are quick to point out, the Bible says to make a joyful noise, doesn’t it, so all that matters to God is what is in our heart?  The psalmist reminds us in Psalm 115 that at the core of our craft should be this attitude:  “Not to us, O Lord; not to us but to Your name be the glory, because of Your love and faithfulness.”  And the apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 10:31 that the pursuit of glorifying God should touch every phase of our life: “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 

On the other side of the coin, it could be argued that we were made to exhibit excellence.  Again, we were created in the image of God, the Original Artist, and since He only created that which was good or very good, should not our creative pursuits be characterized by excellence as well?  The scriptures are pretty clear that those who are chosen to use their art to lead God’s people in worship should do so with diligence and excellence, not just a pure heart.  Psalm 33:3 reminds us to “sing to the Lord a new song; play skillfully on the strings, with loud shouts.”      

1 Chronicles 25:6 describes a musical family which was assigned responsibilities for worship leadership, with this interesting emphasis: “they were all under the direction of their father in the music in the house of the Lord with cymbals, harps, and lyres for the service of the house of God.  The number of them along with their brothers, who were trained in singing to the Lord, all were skillful, was 288.  And they cast lots of their duties, small and great, teacher and pupil alike.” 

Again, Paul in the New Testament reminds us that the focus of our lives should not be on the adequate or the ordinary but rather the highest and best, when he writes “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:8)

A final rationale for Christian artists and worship leaders pursuing excellence is that we in America are trying to reach a fairly sophisticated listener when it comes to the music and art available to our members and guests every day of their lives.  If the arts are considered a language through which we can communicate the gospel, that language must be clear, precise, and relevant to the culture around it. 

So which way do we go?  Do we “worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness”, as the Psalmist encourages, or do we reinterpret that verse to say “worship the Lord in the holiness of beauty?”  Do we seek the beauty and glory of God through worship, or worship God through the achievement of creative and artistic beauty?

My question is, why must it be an either/or?  In every area of this ministry, we can be moving toward higher ground.  Spiritually, we must agree with Paul that we “have [not] already attained [spiritual] perfection, but I press on to make it my own because Christ has made me his own.” (Phil. 3:12)  Artistically, we are entrusted with certain gifts which can always be improved upon, sharpened, and honed (Parable of the talents—Matthew 25:15ff). 

When we view “excellence in all things and all things to God’s glory” as two sides to the same coin, we see ministry for what it is: a high calling which is at once a free gift and that which demands my life, my soul, my all. 

tad