Pastor’s Point: Parting Thoughts

I drove past a cemetery the other day and thought about how long it’s been since I’ve strolled through one of those tombstone gardens.  On the surface, such an activity might sound kind of spooky.  But I’m talking about the intentional act of slowing down long enough to actually reflect on my own mortality.  Nothing is as effective in reminding us that these bodies don’t live forever quite like looking at the names of real people carved in stone… and their dates.  Sooner or later, the healthiest of us end up with dates.  You know, the kind that say the year we were born and the year we died.  Grim thought, I know, and if it’s too maudlin a topic for some of you, bear with me for a few minutes. 

If you are reading this right now, then you only have a date—one date—the year you were born.  But the other one is coming, and at some point, wise people do put thought into what will be the summary of their life when they reach their second date.  Sometimes these summary statements are written on one’s grave marker as an epitaph. But just as often, these inscriptions simply reflect a parting thought about the deceased or life in general.

Here are samplings of both, some flattering, and others…well, not so much:

All you good people
that here pass by
as you are now 

so once was I,

 as I am now 

so shall you be;
therefore prepare
to follow me.

The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna. 

Here lies Ann Mann,

Who lived an old maid

But died and old Mann

Here lies an Atheist

All dressed up

And no place to go

On a dentist:

Stranger tread

This ground with gravity

Dentist Brown

Is filling his last cavity

On an auctioneer:

Jedediah Goodwin

Auctioneer

Born 1828

Going! 

Going!!

Gone!!!

First a Cough

Carried Me Off

Then a Coffin

They Carried Me Off In

Here lies

Ezekial Aikle

Age 102

The Good

Die Young

Here lies 

Johnny Yeast

Pardon me 

For not rising

Here lies Lester Moore

Four slugs from a .44

No Les

No More

Here lies the body of our Anna

Done to death by a banana

It wasn't the fruit that laid her low

But the skin of the thing that made her go

Looked up the elevator shaft

to see if the car 

was on the way down.

It was.

Under the sod and under the trees

Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.

He is not here, there's only the pod:

Pease shelled out and went to God

Good men must die,

but death cannot kill their names

-Proverb

God will not look you over

for medals, degrees or diplomas,

but for scars

She filled every second of her life

with laughter, love and happiness

They loved their Lord with all their heart,

with all their mind, and with all their spirit.

There was grace in her steps,

love in every gesture.

They gave their today for our tomorrow.

He loved and was loved.

I am not afraid of tomorrow,

for I have seen yesterday

and loved today

His courage, his smile, his grace gladdened the hearts 

of those who have had the privilege of loving him.

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died.

Rather we should thank God that such men lived.

-George S. Patton, Jr.

The challenge of summarizing one’s life in a few words or verses is fairly obvious.  A life…in a few words?  Lives are works…not words.  Talk is cheap.  At the end of one’s life, the adjectives from others will be less important than the verbs which inspired them.  What we did, who we were in this life; these are the things that matter most. At the end of his Gospel, the apostle John had this to say about the life of Jesus:

Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, 

I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.

Notice, he didn’t say, “That Jesus, he was a great talker.” Rather, He did many things well.  He was a doer.  Just imagine John trying to write an epitaph for Jesus.  Fortunately for John…for all of us, Jesus didn’t stay dead! 

In the first century, the Apostle Paul wrote a letter to a church in Ephesus, encouraging the believers with these simple words:

…live a life worthy of the calling you have received.

Think about it—live a worthy life.  As opposed to a worthless life.  A life not amounting to anything.  A wasted life.  A directionless, purposeless life.  

Paul’s statement was full of grace and truth.  Based on the calling you have received (grace), choose a life worth living (truth). In other words, Christian, don’t settle.  Don’t just get by.  Don’t squander what’s been given to you.  Paul also believed that what makes a life worthy is not up for discussion.  It’s not up for a vote.  The only One capable of rendering a verdict on the value of my life is the same One who made me.  Writing to another church, Paul put it this way:

I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; 

indeed, I do not even judge myself.

My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. 

It is the Lord who judges me.

Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes.

He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart.

At that time each will receive their praise from God. - I Corinthians 4:3-5

So where do we go from here? Know that it’s never too late to start over. Consider one of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits for Highly Effective People:

Begin with the End in Mind

Regardless of what your past has been, you can start today deciding how you want others to remember you after you’re gone.  It may not even be a bad exercise to contemplate just what that epitaph might say if you could have some say in it.  In truth, no one has a better chance to affect its contents than you yourself.  No one but you…and the One who lives in you.  

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